Many people view depression as just being sad and something you can just snap out of. I mean how many times has an individual who is struggling with a real illness of Depression heard, "Just snap out of it and be happy; you'll feel better."? That is advice coming form someone who has not been in the depths and pit of despair that Depression takes you. Yes, it starts out as sadness but then it becomes and overwhelming emotion that just takes over. Picture this with me if you will, a suitcase. This suitcase contains your thoughts and emotions. As you release or express them, they leave the suitcase. Your suitcase can be filled with various emotions at the same time and sometimes emotes can stay in the suitcase for long periods of time. Now imagine that this suitcase starts out with a little bit of sadness. the individual carrying this suitcase tries to release the suitcase by crying…it helps but the sadness returns and the individual cannot go around crying all day while at work or grocery shopping or at the play date. This individual may find release in confiding in a friend but then thoughts of I can't burden my friends with this all the time. If I talk about my problems and sadness all the time no one will want to talk to me. So the sadness begins to build inside the suitcase. After awhile, sadness has taken up such a strong residence inside the suitcase that there's not room for anything else. And the suitcase is getting heavy! You feel exhausted from carrying around this suitcase full of sadness everywhere you go. Each day more sadness gets added to it. You want to do the things you enjoyed, but you don't want to have to bring your suitcase along so you don't. Eventually the suitcase is overflowing and you have to sit on it to contain its contents of sadness. When you are out in public or out with friends you don't want to bring everyone else down so you stifle the suitcase with all your might and you spend the entire evening keeping the suitcase contained. Friends ask, "How are you doing?" and all you want to do is scream, "I'm horrible! I can't carry this load anymore! I'm exhausted! I sleep all the time so i don't understand why I'm exhausted. I'm so sad I don't know what to do with myself!" but you can't say that so you respond with, "Good, how are you doing?" When you finally get home you are so exhausted from stifling the suitcase and keeping it closed all evening you just crawl into bed. The next time you are invited out you decline because it is so exhausting trying to keep the suitcase shut..after all you have been stifling the suitcase closed all day at work. You just want to go home and let the suitcase lay open on the floor. There lies your depression…sleeping all day, not eating, not doing the things you once enjoyed, isolating yourself from others. It's not so easy to just snap out of because at this point it feel bigger than you. Sometimes you may not even know how to exist without it. Depression has plagued you for so long you can't even remember what happy feels like; you remember how to fake being happy when you are around others, but it has been a long time since you have actually felt joy.
Depression is a pit of overwhelming sadness that doesn't just go away. When an individual is depressed they need a life line, a ladder to get out of that pit. Sometimes life circumstances can throw us in the pit of depression and as those circumstances work out the depression fades away. Other times it is more serious and takes a team to help the individual out of the pit. Sometimes Depression can be overlooked as the symptoms can contradict each other…for example a symptom of Depression is sleeping too much or too little; eating too much or too little. Other symptoms of Depression to watch for are isolation, feeling sad all day most days of the week, not finding enjoyment in things you once enjoyed, irritability, lack of motivation, inability to focus, thoughts of death. These symptoms are all contained in the suitcase and the individual may be able to hide them for awhile, but eventually the suitcase becomes more than the person can bear alone. If you or someone you know is experiencing these symptoms, let them know that it's ok to open the suitcase and to let someone else help carry the load. Reach out to a friend or seek help from a professional counselor. We are here to walk with you through this journey, to climb into the pit with you and help you figure out how to get out, to help you empty the suitcase to make room for other emotions..pleasant ones. Don't let the suitcase keep you from reaching out for help today.
To anyone struggling with Depression and is unsure of what to do to find help feel free to contact me at lynnleinhos@gmail.com You are not alone!
Your Friendly Neighborhood Counselor,
Lynn Leinhos, MS, LLPC
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