Many parents find themselves struggling between how to handle their child's behavior issues and how/when to seek professional help. Many worries keep parents from seeking professional help such as: I don't want my child labeled. I don't want my child medicated. I don't want the school to treat my child different. I don't want to be left out of the healing process. These are all legitimate concerns and I'm here to help address those concerns. (On a side note: An entire blog will be written about when to seek professional help for your child so that topic will not be addressed here at this time.)
When you schedule an appointment for your child within the age range of 4 years -10 years old you will attend the first session by yourself. This will give us the opportunity to go over the Intake Form together. Sometimes parents do not feel as though they are able to freely discuss their concerns about their child's behavior in front of their child. The Intake Form should be filled out prior to the first session and the counselor will go over that with you. information you can expect to see on the Intake Form is your child's name, address, and birthdate; along wit parents' names and phone numbers; current living conditions, and description of home environment. The Intake Form will also address the reason you are seeking counseling for your child, goals for the counseling process for your child, and any physical or emotional changes you have noticed in your child. This helps the counselor be able to make a thorough diagnosis and treatment plan. The Intake Form will also ask about things your child likes and dislikes especially regarding school and hobbies or interests. This information helps the counselor to relate to your child at their level to help establish trust. The Intake Form will ask about any recent changes that has occurred in your child's life. Change causes stress even if the changes are positive. As a counselor, I like to look at all possible explanations for a child's behavior rather than just place a label on it. My job is to get to the underlying problem causing the behavior issues so that the problem itself can be resolved.
The second session is when I would meet with your child. Every session begins the same, I pull out my emotion eggs (which are Easter eggs with various feelings) and ask the child to pick the egg that shows how they are feeling. Next I will ask your child to draw a picture of their family. This offers insight into the child's perspective of their own family. Then I play a modified version of Connect Four with your child. Each playing piece of Connect Four has a sticker displaying various emotions and the child picks the piece according to answer the question. After a few rounds of Connect Four, I pull out a book that displays children expressing a variety of emotions. As we look through the book, I ask your child to identify what emotions the child in the picture is experiencing and why. This task gives me insight into your child's emotional vocabulary as well as offer explanations for why they may feel some of those emotions. Children are very egocentric by nature and as they are explaining why a child in a picture is sad, they are also giving an explanation of what makes them sad. After going through the book, I pull out the emotion eggs again and ask your child to show me how they are feeling now at the end of session. As they choose an egg, they are able to keep the eraser and sticker hidden inside the egg as a reward for a job well done. Doing this at the beginning and end helps me to see if any topic during session has stirred up any emotional response. After my time with your child is complete, I invite the parent(s) to come back. I offer the child the opportunity to share with their parents what he/she did in session.
I am very family-based in my approach to working with children. I do not believe that it is my job to "fix" your child and send you on your way. Rather I see myself as a guide to walk with you and your child on this life journey. I do not view children as broken and in need of being fixed but rather hurting and in need of healing. I work with your child for about 45 minutes a week while you are with your child the rest of the time. My job is to work with you to offer solutions to make life more livable for everyone. Confidentiality still remains as I work with children and needs to be enforced to establish trust with your child. You will be notified and confidentiality will be broken if your child expresses a plan to hurt himself/herself or another person or if abuse is revealed. When a diagnosis is made, it stays within the clinical notes and is used only to develop a treatment plan. As far as medication is concerned, I am not able to prescribe medication. I believe that there are times when medication is beneficial but i think all other options should be exhausted before considering medication.
When I work with children who are over the age of 10 years old, I include them in the first session unless the parent suggests otherwise. After the initial session, I work with the child using games that are more fitted to their age. Treating older children as though they are younger than they are will not build the trust needed in order to establish a therapeutic relationship with them. However, many of the ideals of Play Therapy works just as well, it's just a matter of finding the right games within the age group of the child you are working with. As I work with older children, I also include parents in the healing process and offer techniques and tools your child and I may be working on in session so the parents can implement them at home to further help them develop the coping skills needed to overcome their struggles.
I find it a privilege to work with children and as a parent I understand the feeling of helplessness while watching your child struggle and not know how to help. I offer my help to provide hope to both you and your child.
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