How To Make 2016 Great!

            When you awoke this morning (January 1) you not only awoke to a new day but a new year.  Most individuals respond in one of two ways when a new year arrives; excitement to see what the new year has to offer as the previous year was so full of exciting things or anticipation to a new year that is better than the previous year that seemed to be full of turmoil.  Where does this new year find you?  The start of a new year offers individuals the opportunity to shed themselves of the previous as well as the opportunity to prepare for better things ahead. 

            So the big question is: how can you ensure that this year will be better than the previous year?  There is no perfect answer on how to create a perfect year as life happens and can create unpleasant obstacles that you cannot control.  However, in the midst of these obstacles, there are things that you can always control and focusing on what you do have control over will help you overcome the obstacles.  You may not be able to control the things that happen to you, but you do have control over how you respond to the obstacles.  You have choices you can make which puts you in control….you can either figure out how to get over the obstacle or you can just look at how big the obstacle is.  Now I ask you, which one will help you overcome the obstacle?  How you view the obstacle is going to effect how you will respond to the obstacle.  If you look at it and see it as an obstacle to overcome, then you will respond in a manner of planning a way to get over the obstacle.  On the other hand, if you just look at the obstacle and grumble and complain about the obstacle and the size and the timing, then you will only see it as yet another bad thing that has happened to you.

            Many individuals attempt to create a better year by establishing new year resolutions.  Often times, many individuals create new year resolutions only to be disappointed when they fail at maintaining their commitment to their resolutions.  Some individuals even grumble at the mere mention of a new year resolution.  So the question remains on if new year resolutions are beneficial or even helpful in creating a better year.  Yes, healthy resolutions can be helpful in creating a more positive year for you.  What makes a resolution healthy?  I am not referring to a resolution of eating a salad everyday or making kale shakes in the mornings.  A healthy resolution is one that has realistic expectations and positive motivation behind it.  For example, a woman makes a new year’s resolution to go to the gym everyday.  First off, the expectation of making it to the gym everyday is not a realistic expectation of one’s time, which she is only setting herself up for failure.  She can choose to make a resolution to go to the gym three to four times a week, that is a more realistic expectation.  Next, what is her motivation for wanting to go to the gym…to get in shape, to prepare for a marathon, to lose weight (does she NEED to lose weight), or a self-hatred toward her body?  If her motivation is the latter two (and she is at an already healthy weight) then taking time to explore the root of her reasons for wanting to go to the gym would be more beneficial to her.  Yes, attending the gym could offer healthy benefits to her as exercise helps us to be healthy, but if she is using exercise as a way to cover up her pain left behind from the previous year, then it can only create more harm than good.  Along with exploring the root of her reasons, she could truly benefit from self-care options that focus on taking care of her body in a loving way like getting a massage or even a manicure or pedicure.  Healthy resolutions come from healthy motivation and realistic expectations.  If you have made a resolution for this upcoming year, take a look at what is motivating this change you want to make.

            So as 2016 has greeted us today, how will you respond to the new year…with excitement or dread?  Hopefully you have been able to see ways to make 2016 a better year for you by looking at life’s obstacles in a different light and realizing you have control over more than you realized.  Also, making healthy resolutions to hold yourself accountable for the new year can also help make 2016 great. 

Your Friendly Neighborhood Counselor,

Lynn Leinhos, MS, LLPC